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"Managing Sexpectations" pt.3

When I got married, I assumed sex would be at my beckon call.... it wasn't. I was confused. I didn't understand. After questioning my wife's sexual appetite, whether she was still attracted to me and whether she even liked me or not(!?), it became apparent what the issue was.

We had different sex drives and, I’m happy to report, she had not gone off me. We confronted the elephant in the room by being brutally honest about sex: frequency, duration, positions, best time of day, past relationships, the whole shebang (no pun intended). We had to be willing to deal with the awkwardness of it all or face the consequences down the line. These conversations are not easy to have and one can fully appreciate how uncomfortable and vulnerable it can make you feel. I believe this is partly down to there being very little guidance on how to have such conversations, even with a thorough pre-marriage course under your belt! If you are suffering with the same challenges as I’ve mentioned above, I am confident that dedicating real time and attention to this very delicate area of marriage is one investment you will get a positive return on. Remember, it's not just about what's being said but how it's been said so do tread carefully!

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