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"Are you an enabler?"

Deep question right? I feel that part of you knows the answer already. What do you reckon? I know I can be. It's not on purpose's just that I don't like to see someone suffer unnecessarily, especially if that someone is my wife! You know what though? Sometimes it pays dividends when you have to be cruel to be kind.

If we're talking about that extra slice of cheesecake or another episode of the Kardashians, that I can let that slide every now and then but if we are talking about, for example, excessive spending, poor time management or a lack of quality time, then we have a problem that needs addressing. You have to ask yourself whether the pain you will cause by, for example, applying a lower credit card limit, getting an alarm clock or enforcing a no phone calls after 10pm rule, will be worth the backlash you might receive in the short term for the long-term gain. You're not trying to punish anyone here, simply trying to invest in some boundaries that will promote a more sustainable future for the both of you. If she is reading this post now, she might have to apply those boundaries on you! If you realise that you are the enabler in your relationship make sure you ask yourself the following, "Do they cause pain that leads to injury? Or do they cause pain that leads to growth?" ("Boundaries in Marriage", Cloud, Townsend).

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